The hope to survive

Monday, February 9, 2009 did not start out like a normal day. The day before is when the “irregularity” began. We moved out of the house that had been my home for the past four months. That Sunday was a very difficult day for me. For some people in the house, the moving of the wazungu was a surprise and disturbing. So with that shock and even hurt, came strong words and even stronger emotions. However, we still moved on Sunday and that night was spent sleeping in a new house that we hope can soon become home.

Even the next day, Monday, we were all better able to accept that this move, though difficult for all of us right now – is a necessary one. UCBC is growing, and very fast! Part of the growing pains we will have to go through, is giving up some of the things we had – in order to make way for more people to join us very soon.

So, that Monday, I woke up in a new house – made sure that my new little family had breakfast, packed my bags, and was surprised when I returned to the kitchen table and Justin started to sing, “Happy birthday to you…” Haha – I must be getting older – I had forgotten it was my birthday!

We went to school, without our things for the trip – thinking we’d leave early afternoon. But in the course of the next two hours – we had our flight time change three times – first we thought it was at 1 pm, then we were told it was at 9:30, then 11 and then 2pm – we got to the airport at 1:15 – only to find that the flight WAS IN FACT at 1pm, like we’d originally thought… So the pilots were waiting for us to board. Hilarious. :)

It was a quick flight to Goma – just under an hour. And we arrived to cool weather. The first few days of our time in Goma it was COLD! I was shocked to be so cold one night, that as I was sitting outside for a few minutes, my teeth were chattering and I had goosebumps all over me! Who would have thought I’d be so cold in the Congo?

But our time in Goma was very good. It wasn’t always easy though. We spent a lot of time at HEAL Africa, where we met so many women with horrific stories to tell. Some women had been violated in the worst ways… So badly that they can only wait for fistula surgery to have a hope at being repaired. Some women were recovering from their 6^th surgery, because the first ones had been unsuccessful.

Please read the following with discretion – it’s not easy material, but I’ve tried to be as sensitive as I can with the details.

One woman had seen her husband and all of her children murdered, before those same eight men assaulted and brutally raped her. She was left with literally nothing and nowhere to go – at least no safe place to go. So now she lives at one of HEAL Africa’s programs – helping other women to heal – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Another was only a young girl when she was attacked. She came to HEAL Africa as a shell of a girl. The things she had experienced and the extreme physical pain that was left for her to shoulder – was so much for a girl of eleven. But now, a few years later – she is so full of joy and love. She comes to speak to and support the girls and women who are where she was – hurting, afraid, upset and alone. She gives some of the life and joy that she herself received.

Most women find themselves abandoned by their husbands and also sometimes by their families, when they are raped. They are seen as outcasts and no longer worthy. Out of all of the stories I heard and women I had met – there was only one woman who was still supported by her husband. This man is at home, caring for their 5 year old daughter – while he sent his wife to Goma, to HEAL Africa, so that she can have the fistula surgery to repair her and hopefully make her feel like a woman again. God bless that man for loving his wife, even after she had been so severely hurt, demoralized and shamed!

If you don’t know much about HEAL Africa and what they do – please go to their website at www.healafrica.org

So a lot of our time was spent at HEAL Africa itself – and we stayed with the directors of the Hospital, at their beautiful place along Lake Kivu. Talk about opposites! That place was like a haven… A place that was so gorgeous it really provided a chance to escape from the horrors seen at the hospital

It really was very clear there, probably even more than it’s been in Beni – that Congo is full of contrasts and contradictions.

However, it was good to see the girls who work at HEAL Africa again. They had come to visit us in Beni in November – and it was such a joy for me to spend time with them. They really welcomed me with open arms – and gave me some of the community I’ve missed from girlfriends and sisters. It was encouraging to be able to just speak with them – and since they are from the USA and also work for an incredible organization, they could relate to me and some of the struggles I’ve been facing.

So that part of our trip, even though the majority of our time spent there was to learn, work and just observe… That part of the trip was personally very fulfilling and rewarding. And it also seemed to solidify relationships and strengthen our connection. I praise God for their presence and support.

The last day or so spent in Goma, I was eagerly anticipating my return to Beni. Being separated from the students, friends and the community was not very easy. If nothing else, the week away from Beni allowed me to really see things from a different light.

We are so fortunate in Beni. I am so blessed in Beni. Blessed by the presence of God, the community of students, the red clay soil, the love of family and friends in the area, the minimal military presence and the good homemade food!

Monday morning, when I was going to UCBC on the back of a taxi – I was so happy. Just to see the familiar sights all around me, the roads were not crowded, and I was greeted by cheerful waves from people who recognize and know me within the community.

The time away really gave me a chance to recognize the incredible blessings we have in Beni. We are so fortunate, and I was happy to return

While in Goma, we were able to meet with a friend of the family who had fled his home with his wife… A number of events led to the fleeing of his home and country which he loves – his brother was killed without reason, and his wife was threatened. But now that they are hiding – they only taste bitterness. And fear. The husband feared so much for his life, and for his wife – that now he cannot find anything positive to say about his country. He believes that he has nothing but enemies in Congo, and that this country is run by the devil himself. Because of the hurt that they have suffered, they are living in total fear and hatred. Instead of clinging to the people who love them, they have isolated themselves and their only company is fear. It has consumed them.

I’ve been wrestling with how much pain is inflicted on others… Willingly and unknowingly… The pain that we cause others intentionally and also accidentally. But the deliberate hurt is what I’ve really been struggling with. What gives someone the right to hurt, harm and destroy lives? And why don’t people rise up against the things they see? What makes us stay silent?

A lyric to a song has been playing in my head over and over, “Tell me how come people see and do not speak?” In a way, this song had been tormenting me for a few days…

But a friend sent me a verse that I saw this morning and it really touched me so deeply (Thank you Susan!). It’s exactly what I needed to read this morning.

Proverbs 31:8-9 – “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Regardless of why people stay silent, I don’t have to. I can speak the stories I hear, remember the faces I’ve met – and share the experiences with others. Perhaps we all have a responsibility to not remain quiet – but to defend the broken, the exhausted, the innocent, the brokenhearted, the destitute, the forgotten, the lost, the widows and the children.

That being said, I am attaching a link of the latest report from Human Rights Watch on the DR Congo. This came out on Friday, and it is not easy reading. So you don’t have to read it, and if you do, please read the report with caution – regardless, please pray. We had feared for the safety of the civilians of the Congo, when the operation was launched in January to remove the FDLR from the country. We greatly need prayers for those who live in the villages, who are unable to escape from the hatred of the FDLR. So many defenseless people are caught between the armies with no way out… And nobody is there to defend them.

So please continue to pray.

My heart broke many times this past week in Goma. And even again as I read the report from HRW yesterday. But if we are not awakened to the atrocities of life – how can we remove them?

I believe that these things not only break my heart – but that they break the heart of God as well.

Please continue to pray for the DR Congo, for the people, the leaders and the defenseless. Pray that we would be used to bring about change, through UCBC – even if it’s just one student at a time, so that we can begin to change the mentality of people… one step towards changing the attitude and operation of the country. And please pray that leaders would be raised up, people to fight for the helpless.

I am so thankful for the hope that we have. Hope in Jesus Christ. Hope in the future that our students have, and the promise that they carry. Hope that one day things will improve – and be so good. We cling to hope. Without hope – I think we would submit to the evil in this country, the evil in this world. But in spite of the horrors of life, there is still hope seen in the eyes of people. Hope in the women at HEAL Africa. Hope in the hearts of our students and the children in Beni. We have hope. This is home for so many and it is so deeply loved. We aren’t ready to give up home, therefore we hope.

Thank you,
Bethany